The Book of Olivia Read online

  “No.”

  Laughter from my next-door neighbor echoed through the tight quarters. “Does it look like my handiwork? I’m much more efficient.”

  Marcus’s face grew red. “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family.” He lifted his wrist-com to his mouth. “Please remove Pilot to the third level. I’ll deal with him later.”

  Several seconds went by in silence then I could hear a squad of soldiers approach. The door next to us clanked as it opened, and Pilot called out a parting good-bye. “I’ll see you later, Olivia, and I’ll tell you more stories. Maybe dear Daddy’s deep dark secret.”

  I shivered again. I hoped to never see or hear him again.

  “Now that my brother is gone, you can speak the truth. He can hold nothing against you.”

  “I told you. He didn’t do this.” Oh, how I wished I could say it was Pilot.

  “Then who?”

  I shrugged.

  “Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear.” He leaned against the door and crossed his arms over his chest. “Let’s try this again. Who did that to you and why?”

  “Axel did it to me, and why is really none of your concern.”

  He lunged off the door and grabbed the front of my shirt, hauling me up on my tiptoes and nose to nose. “You’re my wife, and you’d better believe it’s my concern.”

  A staggered breath came out. I swallowed. He wasn’t going to take my cheek for an answer, that much he’d made clear. “Treason. I was punished for failing to obey an order and consorting with the enemy.”

  “Treason?” He didn’t loosen his grip but held me there. I couldn’t escape if I wanted, so I relaxed, going slack in his grip. “Explain.”

  He pulled me closer, until our lips nearly touched and his warm breath brushed my face.

  He had so many reasons to hate me. My eyes teared up, even though I willed them not to. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I swallowed the lump lodged in my throat and answered him. “I walked into our base in that uniform after your brother killed all Axel’s soldiers. I wasn’t supposed to be in that sector. I was supposed to be keeping watch over the camp. When we returned, I was spotted leaving the clearing right after your ship lifted off and flew away. Axel didn’t want to cast me out, to do this, but it was the only way he could keep me alive. The rebels wanted me dead.”

  “Let me make one thing clear. I didn’t kill them—your soldiers.”

  “That’s not true, Marcus. You might not have pulled the trigger, but you did kill them. The men who executed them were your men, and you’d put your brother in charge. Even if you don’t claim responsibility, it is yours by default as their leader. It’s always the leader’s responsibility. Trust me, I know this better than most. So tell someone who doesn’t. You’re still a killer.” You’re still the Butcher even if the killings were not by your hand, and I’m still the person who incited a slaughter when I freed the clones.

  “I’ve never been your enemy, Olivia.”

  “You’re not?”

  “No.” His lips were on mine, kissing softly around swollen flesh. “You should not have come back.” He released me and rubbed up and down my arms as though he couldn’t help touching me, eyeing the wound along the side of my face. “Do you realize what kind of a mess you’ve made? What kind of position you’ve placed me in? It’s taken me three days to stop riots in the street after I refused to turn you over for public execution.”

  “I keep hearing that, but understand I had no choice.”

  “You always have a choice.”

  I backed up and sank to the steel bench, devoid of any kind of comfort. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. No mattress, no blanket, but I didn’t expect I’d need one. I was certain he’d come to take me to my execution. This was it. My life was finally over, at the hands of an enemy I’d foolishly trusted.

  “Let’s get you out of here and treat your wounds.”

  “Why treat me?”

  “Do you want to scar?” He cocked his head and held out his hand.

  “Does it really matter? I’m going to die anyway.”

  “And that is where you are wrong. Being a leader has its benefits, and Axel should have known that. He didn’t have to do this, despite what you think. I get to choose who lives and dies. You’re my wife, and you’re coming home with me.”

  “And what will your people—your family think of that?”

  “I don’t give a damn. They’ll respect you or deal with me. I’ve more than made it clear that their rebellion won’t be tolerated.” He smiled, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “I’ve been searching for you for a long time. I believe you are the key to peace. Now that I have you, I’m not letting you go. You belong to me. Forever.” He reached out and traced the bottom of my lip.

  “Why?”

  “Not all of us are willing to throw away the best thing that happened to them because they want to please others—not lose face among the ranks. I demand respect and get it. I don’t have to prove anything to hold authority. I am their leader. It all starts and stops with me.”

  “And your brother?”

  “Time in the slammer will do him good. He can stay here a few days and ponder the error of his ways. Come home with me, Olivia.” He reached out to me. “Come home where you belong.”

  I nodded and rose, taking the hand he’d extended. He offered more than I had out there alone in the rainforest, so I took it. Later, when I found my footing, I would decide if I wanted to stay.

  The nurse grabbed a bandage, peeled the back off, and moved for my face. I threw my hand up, blocking the treatment.

  “Don’t.” Marcus snagged my wrist. “The nanites will clean out the infection and apply antibiotics directly to the affected area. It will smart for a minute, but once they move on, it should ease.”

  I frowned.

  “I know what you’re thinking. I won’t use them to watch your every move. This is to heal the area. You don’t want gangrene and scars, do you?”

  “No.” But that was not what I was concerned about. He’d hit the reason for my objection the first time. It was why he’d never been able to find me before now. He let go of my wrist and sat back. I pulled my hand away. “But you could track me if you wanted to.”

  “I have the nanites’ frequency and could, but won’t. You need to trust me, Olivia.”

  This was the final nail in the coffin of my love affair with Axel, and we both knew it. Marcus might claim he’d never use it to track me, but if I ever tried to go back to my clone lover, he’d find me, and the people I’d wanted to protect. He could use this technology to flush out his enemy and kill them. He was burning his ships, and in doing so, taking my vessels down with him. Marcus was no fool.

  But neither was I. He didn’t want me to go back to Axel, for love or with information I could use to help the rebels. I knew why he did what he did. I’d been well schooled from the age of three to lead someday. There were other treatments for my wound, just as effective.

  Ancient history always fascinated me. One of my favorite stories was about the Spanish conquest of the Aztec empire. Several hundred years ago, there was a man name Cortés. He faced nearly impossible odds in defeating a warring native population of almost six million bloodthirsty Aztecs.

  Legend had it that when Cortés’s men came ashore, he burned his ships, preventing them from escaping. This left his men with two undeniable options. They could either win the coming battles against what appeared to be an unbeatable foe or die. For the twelve hundred Spaniards who had accompanied Cortés, there was no retreat. They had to commit to the fight, even if it was to the death, and the enemy knew this. It weakened the Aztecs, even if they outnumbered the Spaniards.

  Marcus used my one weakness against me, knowing I would never hurt the rebels. I’d never used the battle bandages or nanite medicine of the soldiers of Aeropia. My father would never allow the tiny bots in my body, no matter how beneficial. The microscopic computers could be u
sed for a multitude of things, including tracking by anyone that managed to get their hands on the frequency, and he’d wanted his family to remain off the grid. It was the reason I had scars and had gone through the healing process the old-fashioned way. Once you had nanites, you didn’t get rid of them and there was always a risk someone could hack their codes.

  If I allowed this treatment, I could never go back to the life I’d had, but it didn’t mean I had to stay here. There was a land across the sea, a free world that waited. Even Marcus couldn’t track me there. We were still in check. He just didn’t realize it yet. If my father was one thing, he was a great strategist. Things got passed down. I wasn’t without means to retreat. Not yet. I nodded at the nurse, letting her know I’d allow the bandage.

  The moment the nanite patch touched my skin, it burned. My eyes teared, and I wanted to rip it from my face. Not because it hurt, but because I knew I’d never see Axel again. It scared me, the thought of living without him, even if he no longer wanted me. I swallowed and turned away so Marcus couldn’t see me cry.

  “It hurts.” I didn’t mean my face. I meant my heart.

  “It will for a while, but it will get better.”

  I turned toward him, letting him see the tear roll down my cheek. We locked gazes, and I knew he didn’t mean the wound either. Which led me to believe I might not have been off in my thinking. Marcus would use the technology to track me should I ever leave him to go back to Axel. “Will it?”

  “If you let it.” He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “You’re safe here with me. I’ll protect you and put you up on a pedestal, love you the way you deserve.”

  And I believed he would—as long as I remained with him. Frying pan—fire. Yeah, I’d found it. Rub-a-dub-dub.

  9

  I stirred the food around on my plate. A slice of vegetable bread and a couple of chunks of dried fruit sat on the surface. Not what I’d grown used to eating in the last few months, not even close, and most definitely not what I’d expected to see at the leader of Aeropia’s table. I looked up at Marcus. “This is what your people eat?” I hoped what the common people ate wasn’t any worse than this.

  “It’s what we all eat.” Marcus nodded. “It’s good enough for them, so it’s good enough for us. Our resources are restricted.” He nodded at the food. “Please, you need something in your stomach. I know it’s not what you’re used to, but it is the best I can do, given the situation we’re in.”

  I smiled. “It’s not that I don‘t like it.” Actually, a thrill moved through me with the knowledge he cared for the people of Aeropia. He could have taken advantage of his position and feasted like a king, like my family had before the rebellion, but he didn’t. He ate what his people ate, and as I looked around his home at the modest furnishings, I noticed he lived like they lived. Gone were the fancy furnishings and decadence of the Braun regime. Nothing Marcus owned screamed excess. The winter palace had been stripped to the bare essentials and looked a skeleton of its former self.

  My husband had honor.

  I lifted the bread and nibbled the corner, remembering my lesson on being an example, the day I’d eaten the clone’s feed and made a stand. Marcus was so different from his father, from my family. He seemed to care. Every moment that passed in his presence, I respected him more, even liked him. These little things he did nearly brought me to tears more than once. How could I ever have thought him a butcher, and evil?

  Marcus reached out and tipped my face up. “Then what?”

  “My father would never have done what you’ve done.”

  “I’m not your father. Nor am I like my father. My mother raised me, a bastard son Dad only recognized when he needed something, or when my fraternity would benefit him. I saw what he did, and I swore I’d never be the man he was.”

  I gave him a smile and took another bite, chewing slowly and swallowing. Didn’t I know it? Marcus was such a contradiction to what I’d grown up with. I blinked and glanced at him. My heart pounded and a warmth oozed through me. I knew that feeling, and it shook me to my core. I dropped the bread on the plate, unable to take another bite. Had my heart softened toward my husband? Truly, I could not fall this fast.

  “You will see I’m not the man you think I am. I know I’m not what you wanted, but I hope someday to convince you otherwise.”

  No, he was more than I could have ever hoped for. He was the leader Aeropia deserved, a man who could bring a divided country back together. Marcus Axis was too good for me. I didn’t deserve him.

  * * *

  Two hours later, I sat in my room, studying my image in the mirror. I’d removed the bandage, and the redness and swelling had begun to vanish. The nanites worked fast. As Marcus promised, it would heal without a scar. I could hardly believe how much I’d changed since I’d been the young woman with gold paint on her face.

  I grabbed a brush and worked out the snarls in my hair. A warm bath had brought back a familiar sense of culture I’d not had in what felt like forever. As I looked at myself, I realized I’d grown older and a bit wiser. The image before me was a leader of Aeropia, what I’d been groomed to be since I could walk. I had since adolescence fought this woman, resisted who my family shaped me to become. Yet here I sat, embracing a part of my life and a forced marriage I’d sworn I wouldn’t. I’d never been so confused in my life. I could have hated him if he’d been vile, but he wasn’t.

  The door to my room opened, and Marcus stepped inside. “I want to talk.”

  I watched him in the reflection. “About…?”

  “Us.”

  I nodded. Eventually, we’d have to talk about us. I was his wife by law, and yet I’d been with another man for the last few years. Betrayal.

  “I want our marriage to be more than a contract.”

  “I’m not ready for that, Marcus.” And I wasn’t. I didn’t want to let go of my love for Axel, although he’d ordered me into exile and forced me to be shunned by my family and friends. All I could see when I closed my eyes was him on his knees. “Tell me how to stop loving you?”

  He did what he’d done because he’d felt it would save my life, and it had. Still, I couldn’t help being angry at him for not trying harder, finding another way, as the man who stood behind me had. Marcus had as much to lose, yet he hadn’t thought twice about bringing me home or treating my wounds. He hadn’t hesitated, knew that he wanted me, and would sacrifice everything to have that. Why hadn’t Axel?

  “I know, but someday I hope you’ll want to make this more.” He walked up behind me and rested his hands on my shoulders. “I’m not giving up on us, or walking away, or backing down until you’re mine. Every day I’m going to try to seduce you, just so you understand. I want you. I’m no fool, Olivia. I know what I have, and I want more. You will have my love, my heart, the world, whatever you want. All you have to do is reach out and take it.”

  I swallowed but couldn’t say a word. How could I tell him a piece of my heart still belonged to another, and probably would for the rest of my life? Axel had saved me—more than once—and I supposed he still loved me in his own way.

  “You will be mine someday, and I will make you forget him.” He gave me a smile, turned, and walked away, shutting the door softly behind him.

  “Oh, Axel.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “How do I stop loving you?”

  My mother always told me that things happened in our lives to make us stronger. Without challenges, we would be weak. Sometimes life could be harder than other times. I wished I knew what the lesson was, what I needed to learn. Did I need to let go and move on? Or was I supposed to endure? I could never have Axel again. To go back to him would place them all in danger, and he was no longer the young man I’d met. He had darkness in him. My conversations with Pilot came to mind. I swallowed hard. No matter what Axel did, he’d never be Pilot, even if Marcus’s brother claimed they were alike.

  The easy thing to do would be to love Marcus. He was handsome, kind, a good leader, and I was certain he wo
uld be a good father to my children. So, why couldn’t I let go of the man I couldn’t have and embrace the one I did?

  I wished my mother were there. I missed her so much in times like these. She wasn’t perfect, nowhere close, nor had she been there as often as I would have liked, but if anyone could understand divided love, sacrifice, and broken hearts, it was her.

  My hand drifted over my breast, the beat thrummed under my fingertips. I didn’t have to go far for a reminder of the consequences of loving someone.

  * * *

  A vase of flowers sat on the table beside my bed. Orchids. The light scent of vanilla filled the air, and I closed my eyes, knowing only one person could have left them while I slept. I noticed a note, tucked inside the bouquet. Handwritten in an elegant cursive scrawl—a lost art to all but the romantics.

  * * *

  Olivia,

  I thought perhaps you would like to fly with me when I check the borders. Meet me in the study when you get up and I’ll take you for a ride.

  Marc

  * * *

  The scent of his soap, a cedar and pine, wafted toward me, and I found myself lifting the page to my nose. The woodsy essence brought back memories of a kiss, one that turned my world over and sent my life into a tailspin. One that ended in my exile. One I’d repeat without hesitation.

  My husband, the romantic, had begun to tear down my walls, strip away layers, uncovering the Olivia I’d forgotten existed.

  A fluttering started in my belly, and I touched my tingling lips. He told me he planned to seduce me. I knew now he meant every word. Kissing was the only intimacy I’d shared with my husband, yet it felt so much deeper than the physical act of sex. I closed my eyes, remembering the third night after I returned to the palace and the second time I kissed Marcus.

  The petals touched my shoulder and skimmed up the back of my neck, where I’d exposed my nape by twisting my hair up into a knot. The soft scent of roses filled my nostrils. I knew without looking or hearing his voice, he stood behind me. “I love roses,” I said and hugged my sides.